Start the conversation

You might have thought about it, but have you talked about it?

We know it’s not easy talking about funerals, especially when it’s about what you want for your own funeral or asking a family member what they’d like for theirs. Even though it might feel difficult or awkward, the most important thing is that you start the conversation.

Here are our top tips on how to start the conversation with family and friends

It may seem like there’s never a good time to start the conversation, but it can be easier than you think. Be it a news item, a recent film or some music you’ve just heard on the radio, use this as a way to get the conversation started.

Used in the right way, a little humour could help break some early tension. You know your loved ones better than anyone, so speak to them in a way you know they'll understand and react to best.

1. Pick the right people

Whether its family members, your closest friends or a mixture of both, call on those you feel will be best to talk it through with. If possible, talk with those who may need to make the arrangements when the time comes. At least they’ll have heard your wishes first hand and feel more prepared when the time comes.

2. Explain the benefits

You know why you want to talk, but your loved ones may not and may need to be reassured. Put their mind at ease by saying why you wanted to have the conversation, and explain how it benefits them as much as you.

3. Think ahead

Conversations can sometimes lose their focus. To help keep things on track, you could think about or write down a few key things you want to say before you sit down to talk.

4. Allow plenty of time

As you may not have spoken about it before, don’t be surprised if your loved ones are a little taken aback when you begin. Be sure to give yourselves plenty of time to talk it through, allowing time for you both to feel comfortable and more at ease as the conversation develops. You may need a few conversations, don’t worry if you don't discuss everything at once. Your loved ones might need some time to get used to the idea of talking about it before they fully open up and talk things through.

Did you know?

Two thirds of people have thought about the kind of funeral they may like, but only four in 10 of them have actually spoken to friends or relatives about it. 

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Haven’t thought about it yet or don’t know where to start?

Here are some suggestions to help you to start thinking and talking about what you’d like for your own funeral wishes or to help you to have the conversation with a loved one.

  • Would you prefer a burial or cremation? Have you thought about where you’d like to be buried? Next to a loved one or a specific place of rest?
  • Where would you like your ashes scattered?
  • Where would you like the funeral to take place – do you have a preferred church or crematorium? A preferred minister or officiant?
  • Who would you like at your funeral? Do you want them to wear anything specific – some people like guests to wear bright colours, for example.
  • Would you prefer a religious or non-religious ceremony?
  • Do you want to follow family traditions or something different?
  • Who would you like to conduct your funeral? Do you have or a preferred funeral home or Funeral Director?
  • Are there any particular flowers, readings or pieces of music you’d like?

Plan ahead and arrange a Funeral Plan

A Funeral Plan is an easy way to get your funeral arranged while protecting your family and friends from uncertainty about your final wishes, as well as the burden of an unexpected funeral bill.

Catherine & Phelan

Our funeral plans start from £2895 and we have a choice of flexible payment options to suit you. Unlike some funeral plan providers, we promise to cover all the costs of your chosen burial or cremation Plan.**

** Burial Plans do not include the purchase of a grave